Disciplining children is a hard nut to crack. It is about teaching them how to control their behavior in a positive manner. For many parents it is equal to physical punishment that ultimately leaves parents feeling hurt and upset. However, teaching your children about the importance of discipline at a young age will help them in future. It will also make them realize the importance of time.sni
Parents usually do not know since when they should start this training. According to Dr Tehmina Akbar, a child psychologist based in Multan, disciplining should actually start after the age of three. Children do not know how to behave. They rely on their parents or surroundings for learning.sni
They can have different feelings and emotions in short span of time. And expression of emotions is normal part of development. The younger the child, the harder it is for them to express their moods. Their brain cannot stay calm on big feelings like anger or disappointment. They can feel overexcited and out of control. Just like adults children need to be heard and understood. After learning they start behaving.sni
Discipline is basically based on thorough attention, mutual respect and confidence between parents and children. It is just like walking on a tight rope. Discipline should not be a negative process in which children start considering parents as their enemies. It should be a positive experience with constructive criticism. If a child is constantly criticized, he may lose confidence in his judgments and decisions. So disciplining is about more than just cleaning the room or controlling tantrum. It is actually aimed at teaching him to internalize the standards of behavior so that he can be the judge of his own behavior.sni
Techniques for disciplining
There are different techniques of disciplining a child as every family has its own approach towards life. Disciplining a child means you are creating a new human being with the sense of right and wrong, empathy and decency.sni
Set rules
First set rules of the house and then be firm and consistent as the child responses to persistency. Children tend to forget rules in the initial three years. Age and temperament is highly important in this regard. Moreover, first try to explain what you expect from them.sni
Give attention
Children need attention. If we do not keep their attention basket full with positivity, care and kindness then they will do anything to get hold of your attention. Spend time with your child by playing or reading to them. Insist him to put his things back in place even if you have to help him wind things up. Explain the benefits of discipline as it will be easy for him to locate things and his life will become simple and easy. Being assertive with your instructions will convey the importance of it.sni
Reward and praise for obeying
Praise needs to be effusive like a hug, a kiss or some other way of affection. Do not nag your child, it will irritate him. Set deadlines for completing the task. It will teach time management and make him punctual. Discourage, if he tries to take short cuts. Make him realize, it is the attitude not the child that is bad. Never put your child down in front of other as it will lower his self-esteem.sni
Avoid yelling or beating
Do not threat or punish on regular basis. It should be done occasionally. Punishment should be logical. Also, yelling and beating are the worst options for disciplining. First warn, then punish. Punishments should be small, like making him stand quietly in a corner, skipping his favorite cartoons or games. We mostly equate discipline with punishment which is a wrong approach.sni
If your parents used to hit you it does not mean you should apply the same strategy with your child. Hitting kids teaches them that might is right. This gives them the message that hitting people who are smaller and weaker is acceptable. Such parents should not be surprised when their children beat their smaller mates. It will also ruin the relationship between child and parents. A long history of beatings turns a child into an angry, emotional and resentful person. Use time-out instead.sni
Stay consistent
Being consistent in applying rules is important. If a child knows that you would tend to overlook his bad gesture when you are tired or ill then they will not take you seriously. Mother and father must be united before children. If the mother is strict then the father should be lenient or vice versa.sni
Disciplining cannot be done overnight. Parents must try to understand the reason of their child’s bad behavior. Communication is important. Unfortunately, we pay more attention to their misbehaviors but not when they actually behave themselves. It is our prime duty to ingrain discipline in children in all matters. But be a role model first, only after that can you shape up a better human being.sni
